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It Had To Be the 'Roids

As Michael Phelps and the appropriately-named Usain Bolt broke world records, sportswriters got their suspicion on. Because it's totally inconceivable that anyone can accomplish anything in sports these days—well, at least sports where they test for doping; sports with less-than-rigorous testing regimes are oddly immune—without the help of performance-enhancing drugs. It's as if writers totally misunderstood the lesson of their false-hero-creation during baseball's steroids scandal, concluding they could be just as lazy as long as they were suspicious. Let the speculation parade begin!

Sports

The Pate White Hope

Right now, Manu Ginobili is probably not interested in my condolences or congratulations. In a game in which he played only five minutes due to an injury, Manu's Argentinean teammates lost to their American counterparts and that perpetual adolescent we know as Carmelo Anthony. So I'll forgive Manu if he doesn't want to hear my hollow sports pieties.

Sports

'Her Hotness Was Rated As Volcanic'

Gymnast Alicia Sacramone may have cost Team USA the gold when she fell off the balance beam—but she appears to have landed in the arms of an adoring internet. The phrase "Alicia Sacramone is hot" found its way to the top of Google's trends list, rendering it "Volcanic" in the web giant's parlance. This led a pair of NBC announces to wonder what led to her popularity, noting that there's "something about [her] entire happenstance."

Sports

A Phelpsian Windfall

Tuesday morning, courtesy of the CBS Morning Show, Phelps-a-mania came to an amazing crescendo. The smart money would have wagered that the Phelpsian epic would have hit its high mark somewhere in NBC's maudlin coverage of the Games— most likely during the Today Show, which has insisted on bringing groggy, bleary eyed America every second of every breath currently happening in Beijing. But no! CBS decided to follow coverage of a potentially devastating hurricane currently brewing in Southern Florida with an interview of Phelps, offering the immediate and unfortunate segue: "And now to a man who's like a hurricane…in the pool, Michael Phelps!"

Sports

Is Peter King Brett Favre's New Agent?

The Brett Favre-Packers saga appears to have been ended by a trade of the unretired quarterback to the New York Jets. Though ESPN's Rachel Nichols can probably stop stalking Favre now, another, higher-profile, reporter is likely to continue to cover the story, which has now moved to within a couple dozen miles from his home: Sports Illustrated's Peter King, who looks to have acted as something of a go-between for Favre and his former team.

Sports

Manny Bleeding Manny

Pointing out that the Boston sports media can be particularly obnoxious and venomous is kind of like saying that the The Love Guru sucks; everybody knows it's true, but it's fun to do anyway. And so, as Manny Ramirez continues to settle in comfortably in LA (he wants to finish his career there!), Boston sportswriters are dialing up their anti-Manny hate rhetoric in an attempt to convince themselves that it was a good idea to trade away one of the best hitters in the game, pay his contract, and ship out prospects all for a guy described by NL scouts as "bland."

Sports

The Naked Climbing Trend

It's become a tired joke in journalism circles that if something occurs three times, it becomes a trend. Well, you can say what you will about the declining journalistic standards on this side of the Atlantic, but if America's newspaper writers want to feel good about themselves, they should look at some of their British counterparts. There, all it takes is one steamy photo shoot to make a full-fledged "extreme sport craze."

Sports

(Bleep), F***, or F*ck?

Phillies second baseman Chase Utley had something of a Jesse Jackson moment at baseball's Home Run Derby when he was booed by New York (presumably Met) fans and said to Marlins second baseman Dan Uggla, "Boo? Fuck you." Only, of course, Utley was wearing a microphone at the time and ESPN was not using a tape delay, so the comment made its way on to television. It did not, however, make its way into many other media outlets.

Sports

Da Return of Shaq Fu

Shaq's freestyle rap in which he informs Kobe of the flavor of a certain part of his anatomy, and tells the crowd that the Lakers' guard "couldn't do without me," has been covered ad nauseam by now (including by Gelf's podcasters). But one aspect of Shaq's freestyle has passed under the radar amid questions about whether the two hate each other: Shaq's use of the word "nigger".

Sports

ESPN Pulls Simmons Critique

Last week, Gelf examined a lazy and inaccurate piece by Bill Simmons in ESPN the Magazine—and by examined, we mean ripped to shreds. Apparently, we weren't the only ones who felt the Simmons piece was a mishit. On the Tennis.com blog, hosted on ESPN.com, online editor Kamakshi Tandon wrote a similar piece, castigating Simmons for his ignorance much more eloquently than we did. But now that piece has been taken down.

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