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Mets first baseman Carlos Delgado is having an unproductive season which, combined with his drop-off last year, has led to speculation that he's on the wrong side of his baseball career. But don't try telling that to Delgado's agent, David Sloane. Because Sloane has the ultimate trump card: Yo mama.
Star-Ledger reporter Dan Graziano, wrote a column yesterday detailing a bizarre Mother's Day email exchange with Sloane that ended thusly:
Graziano: That a joke, too? You're a funny guy.Sloane: So's your mom.
Seeing as Sloane has made millions of dollars for Delgado over the past several years, we can't help but wonder if perhaps the phrase "your mom" is an underappreciated negotiating tactic. Think of the implications: Barack won't back down? "Your mom can't win the white vote"; Yahoo balking at Microsoft? "Your mom's worth $33 a share!"
Permalink » | by Vincent Valk
A certain national chain pizzeria recently apologized to the city of Cleveland and Cavs' star LeBron James for printing T-shirts that read "Crybaby: 23" during the recent Cavs-Wizards playoff series. The chain is also doing its penance for insulting The Chosen One by "rewarding" the earnestly loyal fans of Cleveland with 23-cent pizzas all day this Thursday—thus ensuring the continuation of free, undeserved publicity, though not from this website.
In the wake of allegations that Roger Clemens carried on a 10-year affair with country singer Mindy McCready, supposedly starting when the singer was all of 15 (and the Rocket was 28), Gelf started to wonder if he had finally surpassed the radioactive Barry Bonds in terms of all-around assholishness. A thoroughly unscientific investigation follows:
The performance of the New York Knicks has been so mind-bogglingly bad in the last few years that sportswriters have been digging to find appropriate metaphors for the degree of ineptitude Isiah Thomas and his team bring to the court on a regular basis. A recent New York magazine piece titled "Absolutely, Positively the Worst Team in the History of Professional Sports" calls them "a Kurtzian horror of bloated contracts and hyped ne'er-do-wells"—among many other things.
College-basketball fans have long noticed that the men's and women's NCAA tournaments tend to play out a little differently. While the men's tournament routinely serves up enough stunning upsets to fill a yearly remake of "One Shining Moment," the early rounds of the women's bracket tend to play out true to seed. (Of course, there are some serious exceptions to that rule.) But does that pattern persist as the tournament advances through the second weekend? Gelf investigates.
Imagine that you are the general manager of a Major League Baseball team and David Ortiz suddenly became available. All you have to do is pay his salary and you can pick up a player who is easily worth three wins over the course of a season without even putting on a baseball glove. And since you've already imagined this much, throw in the pipe dream that Ortiz has adopted a more athletic physique, and can now play left field for as many as 110 games a season. Unless you have absolutely no interest in baseball, you are well aware that I'm describing not Big Papi, but the readily available Barry Bonds, whose inability to land a suitor for his services is a pretty sure indicator that he is either the victim of collusion, or that major league teams hate winning games.
Full article » | by Jake Rake
There were many bizarre quotes from Roger Clemens's and Brian McNamee's testimony before a congressional committee—"Mr. Clemens bled through his designer pants" and "Mr. Clemens, according to your account, Mr. McNamee injected your wife in your bedroom without your knowledge" were some of the better ones—but the one that has caused the most confusion is a line from McNamee's taped phone call with Clemens: "It is what it is."
When David Tyree brought down Eli Manning's pass with 75 seconds left in Super Bowl XLII, everyone and their mother (well, at least mine) recognized it as one of the most important plays in Super Bowl history. But when the game ended, the controversy began. Not because it wasn't a catch—every super-slow-motion replay showed that Tyree's helmet-aided, back-breaking, Harrison-humiliating grab was indeed a reception. But because no one could decide what to call it.
If the last Giants drive of Super Bowl XLII was as shocking to you as, say, a racist Panda ad, then you were not alone. With just over three minutes left in the ball game, you could have gotten 40:1 odds on Eli Manning becoming the night's MVP. But after a series of impressive scrambles (and one amazing catch by David Tyree), Manning became the hero of the night, and shed much of his reputation for being soft and, well, not so good.
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