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Sports
May 21, 2007
When Adjectives Hold Hands in the Desert
Baseball writers are notorious for overly dramatic writing. Within a genre that routinely attributes mythic qualities to even the most routine 6-4-3 double plays, Marty Noble, beat writer for Mets.com, stands out for audacity and entertainment value. As Noble himself might write, this is a man who never met a cliché he didn't like. He recaps Mets games like a WWII veteran recapping the Battle of the Bulge. The Mets did not move into first place, they reclaimed it. Jose Reyes is "electrically charged danger" on the base paths, while a losing rookie pitcher nobly "throws himself on the sword." His opening lines are consistently histrionic, and his signature move is a snippy one-liner at the end. Below are a few of Gelf's favorite Noblisms from the 2007 season.
Sports
May 10, 2007
Not So Differently 'Abled'
When a Major League Baseball player gets hurt, he's often put on the disabled list for either 15 or 60 days so that a healthy player can be brought in to replace him. When he goes on the DL often, he can severely hamper his team's prospects and can become a target for mockery. Almost 20 years ago, the Los Angeles Times writer Mike Downey wrote that Dodger outfielder Pedro Guerrero was wondering when fellow outfielder Mike Marshall "planned to go on the Abled list." A decade later, Paul Dougherty of the Cincinnati Enquirer chimed in: "No one knows how long Reggie Sanders will stay on the abled list."
Sports
April 27, 2007
ESPN Doesn't Like ####, Fo Sho
Ever since ESPN started to allow readers to comment on articles on its website in February, it's had trouble figuring out where to draw the line. First, the site decided to stop allowing the "conversation" on Page 2, after a particular incident involving a certain Bill Simmons article. Then, the Worldwide Leader made it very difficult to comment on a particular announcement by John Amaechi. (They've since rectified this.) Now, they're forcing readers to come up with different synonyms for boring.
Sports
April 18, 2007
Ignorance 1, Nike 0
"Thank you, ignorance." That's the first line of a full-page Nike ad on race and sports that appeared in Sunday's edition of the New York Times. (According to AdAge, the same ad will be run on several websites as well.) The ad thanks Imus—without naming him—for "unintentionally moving women's sport forward" by focusing attention on the Rutgers women's basketball team. Or, as the ad copy goes, for "making an entire nation listen to the Rutger's team story."
Sports
April 17, 2007
Which Group Has Gotten the Most Wedgies from Jocks?
Earlier this week, baseball celebrated the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson's debut in the Major Leagues. Last week, a certain radio personality was fired for implying that a certain women's basketball team had dubious sexual mores and very curly hair. These divergent events prompted Gelf to dig into the cyber-archive and investigate the illustrious history of bigotry in sport. Of course, there has been bigotry in sports for as long as there have been bigotry and sports (Ty Cobb, anyone?). But which minority group gets it the worst from sports figures?
Sports
March 27, 2007
Eight Is Obscure Enough
If you thought the late-'70s sitcom Eight is Enough had been relegated to the dustbins of history, with only enough pop-culture cachet to merit the occasional ironic offhand mention in Family Guy, guess again. As it turns out, the very notion of discussing eight of anything is enough to make sports editors nostalgic for the days when Dick Van Patten prowled the airwaves.
Sports
March 27, 2007
Like the Globetrotters Losing to the Generals
Last week, heavily favored Pakistan lost to Ireland in group play of cricket's World Cup by three wickets. With the loss, the team was eliminated from competition. Afterwards, the captain resigned and apologized for embarrassing the country, effigies of coach Bob Woolmer and his players were burned in the streets of Karachi, and the coach was found dead (likely murdered) in his hotel room. Now, police are investigating whether the coach's death was related to match-tampering. The slight odds of just 8-1 against Ireland in the match suggests to the police that some bettors knew that the fix was in.
Sports
March 24, 2007
The Importance of Being Conference Champs
For the past few years, Gelf has had the same message for big-conference bubble schools who claim that they should have the right to the last, precious at-large spots over smaller schools: Put up or shut up. That's because, despite all of the hype surrounding them in the weeks leading up to Selection Sunday, lower-seeded at-large teams from the SEC, ACC, Big 10, Big East, Big 12, and PAC 10 almost never do anything once they reach the tournament. Gelf dug deeper into the stats to directly compare the performances of bubble teams from big and little conferences.
Sports
March 20, 2007
Bubble Trouble
For all of the worrying about which big conference teams were going to make it off of the bubble and into the NCAA tournament, their actual performances once they got there were pretty pitiful. (I'm looking at you, Arkansas and Stanford.) This keeps with a trend that Gelf has covered for the last three years and strongly suggests that more of these bubble spots should be reserved for teams from smaller conferences.
Sports
March 8, 2007
Stupid Sports Debates
All-Star voting for any sport is incredibly stupid and unimportant. Hall of Fame balloting is even dumber. Great players deserve recognition, and if that means they should get a special game, or even a shrine in a building in a remote location, fine. But tired debates about who should be in and who should be out of these things are a disservice to readers who crave and deserve real analysis about real stories.
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