Over at SI.com, John Rolfe writes that universities should allow big-time athletes to major in their respective sports. It's a strange thought piece, and it's unclear exactly how sarcastic Rolfe is trying to be, if at all. But even if the column isn't particularly practical (after all, there's no discussion of money), Gelf particularly likes this line: "As the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to culture, but you can't make him think."

As the really old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." And then, of course, there's Dorothy Parker's version, supposedly invented on the spot when she was challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence: "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think." (Gelf wonders what kind of intellectuals sit around tables challenging one another to use various words in sentences, but since even the New York Times says the quip is legit, we'll let it slide.)

All things considered, Gelf much prefers another quote from the famous lush: "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."