Stephen A. Smith, the Philadelphia Inquirer columnist and ESPN commentator, is getting his own ESPN show called Quite Frankly, premiering Monday. From the name, you might guess the show would cut through the sports-talk blather and express original and controversial views—something Smith is good at, even if he expresses those views with too much stagecrafted anger and is sometimes incoherent. You might further guess that when the network set out to promote the new show, relentlessly, it might select an especially interesting and prominent Smith argument; or maybe, should we be so lucky, more than one, so we wouldn't be subject to the same promo over and over again, until any edge gets worn off into dullness.

You would be wrong; so grievously wrong that your punishment is to be smacked upside the head over and over again with Smith's astute observation that the New England Patriots are good (a radical explanation for their three Super Bowl victories in four years; truly a paradigm shift in football analysis). They have unselfish players; they play as a team, blah, blah. (Not surprisingly, Smith cites Larry King as one of his influences for the show, according to the Chicago Tribune.) The windup to the big finish: "Last I looked, they still have Tom Brady." Zoom in on Smith, so smug about the punchiness of his kicker line, he's bursting: "Quite frankly, that's all you need." That's trite and wrong. Brady is great in the regular season—third best in the NFL last year, according to Football Outsiders—and a better playoff performer. But pair Brady with, say, the New York Giants' pass protection and he'd look a whole lot worse. Now take Smith at his quite frank word: If all you need is Tom Brady, who would win in a game between Tom Brady and a 6-inch tall Mike Ditka? Ditka, 58-3. Pass the pork chops.

Some suggested future talking points for Quite Frankly:
• Quite Frankly, Lance Armstrong is a pretty good biker.
• Quite Frankly, Kobe & Shaq don't relate well on a personal level.
• Quite Frankly, those foreigners seem to like their soccer.
• Quite Frankly, ESPN is dumbing down sports.