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April 28, 2008

Roger vs. Barry

In the wake of allegations that Roger Clemens carried on a 10-year affair with country singer Mindy McCready, supposedly starting when the singer was all of 15 (and the Rocket was 28), Gelf started to wonder if he had finally surpassed the radioactive Barry Bonds in terms of all-around assholishness. A thoroughly unscientific investigation follows:

While only Barry has been indicted for perjury, Clemens's Congressional testimony is being investigated by the FBI. In fairness, the cases against both have yet to uncover any new wrongdoing, or lead to any convictions.

Clemens may have committed statutory rape, but there is no indication that he threatened his mistress. On the contrary, the Daily News, which broke the story, reported that sources said there was "barely any friction between them." Bonds, however, appears to have had some 'roid rage. His former mistress said he once threatened to decapitate her and leave her body in a ditch.

Barry largely kept the violence off the field, though. Roger, in contrast, famously threw a bat at Mike Piazza during the 2000 World Series. And both have made some bizarre pronouncements, from Rogers's insistence that recovering alcoholic pitcher Bob Welch "be a man" and "stop drinking milk" to Barry's declarations that he won't buy anything nice for his trainer Greg Anderson because Anderson is white.

While we'll readily admit that some of these accusations may be flimsy, we think the evidence is pretty clear that the greatest hitter and greatest pitcher of the past 20 years are not, shall we say, men of character. But which one is the bigger asshole? Let us know in the comments…

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- Sports
- posted on Apr 29, 08

As a Bay Area denizen, I'm probably biased, but I'd say Rocket takes it in a landslide. I'm not sure who I'd rather have as a dad, though.

- Sports
- posted on Apr 29, 08

As a Mets fan, I likely have biases as well, but I vote Rocket, too. Bonds is a Grade-A jerk, but I don't find him quite as loathsome as Clemens.

- Sports
- posted on Apr 30, 08

Its gotta be Clemens. Bonds just tells the media to eff-off while Clemens went to congress to prove that he was a family man. Plus, by my count Bonds has only pissed off one franchise (Pittsburgh), but I dont think Clemens has ever left a city on good terms. What a scumbag.

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