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January 26, 2009

If You Seek Amy

The sixth track of Britney Spears' new album Circus carries the linguistically cunning title "If You Seek Amy," which would be cleverer if the preceding lyrics weren't the otherwise nonsensical "All of the girls and all of the girls are begging to …" It would be even more clever had the Canadian band April Wine not released the song "If You See Kaye" in 1982 and had Aerosmith not copied that line for their song "Devil's Got a New Disguise" in 2006. Nonetheless, Spears's potty mouth has gotten her just what her P.R. team wanted: a livid reaction from the Parents Television Council that will invariably spike sales of her comeback album.

Since one sexy pun worked for Britney, we here at Gelf thought we might be able to help her sell even more musical pop detritus by coming up with some more naughty double entendres to titillate her teeny bopper audience. So by wracking our noggins (and borrowing liberally from the commenters in this Digg post), we came up with the song titles for Brittney's next album. Here goes:

"I Made Your Dixie Wrecked"
"This is Sofa Kingdom"
"I Sell You Teabags"
"I Like Mike Hunt"
"Honor and Offer"
"Take Off Your Pants and Jacket"
"Do You Like P.E., Anaïs?"
"What a Cunning Stunt"

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