The eons-long feud that has simmered between Staten Island and the Jersey Shore boiled over last week after a few ill-conceived remarks from a public official garnered coverage up and down the Jersey and New York shorelines. For those who find themselves in the good fortune to reside in areas where this story does not exist, here's a brief recap of the major events.

Friday, July 4, 2008: Belmar Mayor Ken Pringle decides to celebrate America's birthday by publishing inflammatory remarks concerning Staten Island youth who frequent his town for the sole purpose of "having a good time." In particular, Pringle relates the tale of one all-female fight in a local bar:

As the Staten Island girl was pummeling the Boonton girl's face, she used the hand she was still holding her drink glass in. Now, we're not sure if the glass was stuck to her hand ‘cause of all the hair spray or if this is a technique Staten Island girls learn in Brownies, but we are thankful she left her brass knuckles and straight razor in her other purse.

He continues, "Journalistically speaking, 'SI woman punched other woman' is right up there with 'Dog bites man.'"

Pringle would add colorfully to his sociological assessment of Staten Island, and adapt it largely to offend other, overlapping, populations, highlighting "guidos" in general, whom the mayor said are "as welcome as, oh, Canada Geese" (unfunny), and "blondes" who reportedly told a code enforcement officer they had a mountain of garbage in the backyard because they didn't know how to take out the trash (slightly more funny).

Wednesday July 16, 2008, 10:35 pm: The Staten Island Advance breaks the story. New York-based interviewees agree the mayor is "ignorant." The mayor promises to quit distributing his newsletter.

Thursday, July 17, 2008, 10:44 pm: The New York Daily News publishes its account, affectionately headlined, "Hey, Joisey clown, say dat to my face."

Friday, July 18, 2008, 7:28 am: The New York Post gets wind of the story and runs "DAMN SON OF A BEACH!." Lead line: "Guidos to Belmar's mayor: Hey, shudduppa you face!"

Friday, July 18, 2008, 10:01 am: The New York Times enters the fray—though with a less-amusing headline—detailing Staten Islanders' collective wish that Mayor Pringle visit for a "face-to-face."

The mayor discontinues his newsletter, and apologizes while defending his use of the word "guido": "A name that causes the blood of older Italian-Americans to boil at sight (much less when they are led to believe it was used as a slur by a mayor) is used every day throughout the Tri-State area by hordes of 20-somethings, not to mention dozens if not hundreds of bars and nightclubs, and even by radio stations, and the ads they run, none of whom associate it with any ethnic group, much less consider it an ethnic slur. I wish I had an answer for how to reconcile these views."

A press release from the Staten Island Good Neighbor Association says: "The group wants the mayor who insulted Staten Island to spend 24 hours in the crown island jewel of New York. He would be treated to the local cuisine, including a night at the Staten Island Hotel." The association, it continued, wants to "take him on a tour of the place people love to dump on." Something tells Gelf that the mayor might just take them up on that.

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