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October 9, 2008

Don't Blink Now

What do Sarah Palin, Red Sox starter Jon Lester, the Chicago Bears, and the Carolina Panthers have in common? They don't blink. Ordinary humans—or lily-livered elitists—may move their eyelids in the face of challenges like winning the American League pennant or running for vice president, but ace pitchers and steely-nerved hockey moms can face such things with their eyeballs pried open like a torture victim.

So, we can safely assume that if Vladimir Putin ever challenges Sarah Palin to a blinking contest in the Bering Strait to determine the fate of a nuclear-arms deal, Palin won't blink. She'll just stare deeply into Putin's soul and see, hopefully, something other than what President Bush saw.

The only problem is, as you can see in the shocking footage below, Sarah Palin does blink. The consequences for Red Sox pennant hopes, let alone American diplomacy, could very well be dire.

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