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October 13, 2008

Big-Nuts Brown

Browns tight end Kellen Winslow is in the hospital and will miss Monday night's game against the Giants. But why? Aside from noting that "his arms and legs are not falling off," nobody associated with the Browns seems willing to discuss it—which has led to speculation that another appendage of his has not fallen off, but blown up.

Cleveland Browns v Oakland Raiders

It takes balls to play in the NFL.

Perhaps Winslow is embarrassed of his condition, or perhaps editors are uncomfortable with the word "testicles." In any case, here's how some media outlets are covering the situation:

ESPN: Brown was "hospitalized for an undisclosed illness," which is "not believed to be related to any of his previous injuries."

Sporting News: Winslow's chances to play tonight are "beginning to look a little bleak." No mention of why he's in the hospital.

The Columbus Dispatch: "This much we know about what ails Cleveland Browns tight end Kellen Winslow: He is in no danger of losing any of his appendages." The Dispatch then goes on to quote Browns coach Romeo Crennel, who gives us that most-welcome news.

The less-squeamish Deadspin and AOL Fanhouse do mention the "T"-word. However, Pro Football Talk gets the award for "most direct coverage of an uncomfortable situation" for informing us that Winslow's "balls swelled to the size of grapefruits." Take a few moments to consider that, why don't you?

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