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March 15, 2007

No Paris Hilton Blackout Goes Unrewarded

You might have heard recently that Paris Hilton could be facing jail time for driving with a suspended license. If you didn't catch that news on one of your favorite celebrity blogs, perhaps the news came from the Associated Press, which ended a self-enforced week-long blackout of all things Paris Hilton just in time to cover the breaking news.

The AP article is an interesting beast. While its knowing, slightly condescending tone (uncannily similar to that of the New York Times when the Grey Lady deigns to cover such topics) seems to be saying one thing, here's what it actually says:

1) We decided not to cover Paris Hilton for a week.
2) Here are some things she did that you might have missed.
3) Somehow, word got out about our Paris Hilton blackout.
4) Thus, this article, entitled, "Even Ignoring Paris Hilton Makes News."

Yes, ignoring Paris Hilton makes news if you write an article about how your ignored her. That's like writing a piece about how you haven't been writing about your scabies problem, and then entitling it, "Even Ignoring Scabies Problem Makes News."

"This is what mainstream society celebrates," Lloyd Grove, a former New York Daily News columnist, says in the article. "[Paris Hilton] is, in the worst sense, the best expression of the maxim that no bad deed goes unrewarded in our pop culture."

Footnote: When the AP first published the article, "unrewarded" read "unpunished." If only.

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