Washington insiders are constantly looking to baseball for help with their talking points. Bush's nomination of John Roberts is a "home run." John Kerry "struck out" in the second presidential debate. Now that the Nationals have taken up residence in Washington, you can expect sports imagery in politics to take third from first on a bloop single to right. It's dangerous territory for politicians, who are often so removed from everyday life that their attempts to appear sports-relevant frequently bustsee previous political references to Green Bay's "Lambert" Field (John Kerry, 2004), the "Brooklyn Dodgers" (Bob Dole, 1996), and "Mike McGwire and Sammy Sooser" (Ted Kennedy, 1998).
But a baseball player is just as likely to put his cleats in his mouth as a politician. So, just as politicians should stop pretending to understand baseball (except maybe for W, who after owning the Rangers for five years actuallyand I'm being serious heresounds like he knows what he's talking about), baseball players should stop pretending to understand politics, even when they're testifying before a House Subcommittee. Gelf has compiled evidence that baseball players are stealing from the political playbook; here are three of our favorite batting stances:
Courtesy MLB.com "I have never..." |
Politics
Scott McClellan, White House Press Secretary
I speak for the President... If someone in this administration leaked classified information, they will no longer be a part of this administrationOct 7, 2003
George W. Bush, 43rd President of the United States
If somebody committed a crime, they will no longer work in my administrationJuly 18, 2005
Baseball
Rafael Palmeiro, First Baseman, Baltimore Orioles
I have never used steroids. PeriodMarch 17, 2005
I have never intentionally used steroids. Never. Ever. PeriodAug 1, 2005
Courtesy Whitehouse.gov "...Never. Ever. Period." |
Politics
Bill Clinton, 42nd President of the United States
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss LewinskyJan. 26, 1998
Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms. Lewinsky that was not appropriateAug. 17, 1998
Baseball
Pete Rose, Second Baseman, Cincinnati Reds
I've been saying for 10 years that I didn't bet on baseball. Why am I going to change my mind now?Nov 30, 1999
I did bet on baseballJan 6, 2004
The Circumscriber:
The speaker may or may not have retracted his prior statement, even though everyone thinks he has.
Politics
Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the United States
We did notrepeat, did nottrade weapons or anything else for hostages, nor will we Nov 13, 1986
A few months ago I told the American people I did not trade arms for hostages. My heart and my best intentions tell me that's true, but the facts and evidence tell me it is not March 4, 1987
Baseball
Mark McGwire, First Baseman, Saint Louis Cardinals
[On steroid use.] NeverMarch 23, 1998
If a player answers no, he simply will not be believed. If he says yes, he faces public scorn and endless government investigationsMarch 17, 2005
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